Repairing Critical Relationships
Dr. Michelle Skeen, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist, joined Allen Cardoza and Dr. Melody Foxx on L.A. Talk Radio to discuss her new book, “The Critical Partner.”
The author talked about how her book is designed to help both partners in a relationship. Based on utilizing personal schemas, the book is intended to gradually change unhealthy relationship patterns and help both partners find the love that they truly desire.
Dr. Skeen mentioned a recent YouTube video that got millions of hits as an example of unrestrained anger in a relationship. The father posted a video of his retribution against his daughter after she denigrated him to her Facebook friends. The father’s act of revenge was to shoot his daughter’s laptop computer. What particularly disturbed Dr. Skeen were the number of approving posts from parents for this outrageous behavior. The popular response to the video revealed how many people identified with the father’s negative schema.
Dr Skeen described a critical relationship as one where a critical partner constantly blames the more vulnerable partner, holding them to unrealistic standards. The critical partner tends to make the vulnerable partner feel picked apart and unworthy. One way to repair critical relationships was for both parties to take more responsibility for their interactions. The critical partner needed to understand that they were projecting their emotional insecurity on the vulnerable partner. The vulnerable partner, in turn, needed to express how hurt and unloved they felt after the criticism.
Numerous practical techniques to change unhealthy relationship patterns are offered in “The Critical Partner.” Although geared towards the vulnerable partner, it also offers much practical information for the critical partner. Some worksheets help the critical partner identify their dysfunctional behavior and how they needed to move beyond criticism. Some worksheets helped the vulnerable partner learn better ways to deal with the relentless criticism.
Sharing suggestions on how to get to the root of relationship problems on the radio show, Dr. Skeen described ways each partner could find the love that they had been looking for in the relationship. she also took the time to answer questions.
Want to find out more about Dr. Michelle Skeen, then visit Allen Cardoza’s website to listen to the interview in its entirety.
